O hai! i'z jan8. i haz storie tell? u heer? O gud.

Nao, i haz tyed ma kirtl gren
a bi above ma nee an not B-lo
an i'z go down 2 Katerha
as fast as i can go.

this is sound at a famiyar?

so i'z down a Katerha
an i can haz some roses red?
but 4 i got 2 roses ther
Tam Lin was ther 2 stop ma hand!

thiz guy talk rrl rrl werd. see? i show u.
"Why pu's thou the rose, Janet,
amang the groves green
and a' to kill the bonnie babe
that we gat us between?"
i duz gud impresun of him, no?

a 2gether nao:
LOVE
Yer doin it wrong.

so all a sudden, this guise all tell me his life storie. liek i wan know.
But this is, baiscly, wut happnd 2 him 2 maek him so messed up.
*ahem*

Tam Lin n his daddy went huntin
wen Tam Lin wuz but a child
but he, o corse, fell of his horse
an he wuz neerly killed.

But! teh fary queen, she caut him
B4 he hit teh ground
n so she savd his life
n wisked him off wifout a sound.

Nao, i haz tyed ma kirtl green
a bi above ma nee n not B-lo
n i'z go 2 ma father'z halls
as fast as i can go.

teh fine fiar ladez of teh cort
were playin boring games
wen i arived all out o breth
n i fell down n2 a faint.

n ma deer father said 2 me
in a voyse so meek n mild
as quyitley as formin dew
"I fear you go with child."

Nao, i wuz bein sarcastic wen i sed
"maself shal ber teh blame
n nor a nite wfin ur hallz
can haz teh baby'z name."

so then i went bak 2 Tam Lin
and he told me somethin intrestin...

evry 7 yeerz r so
teh faryz mak a sakrfyse
teyv aways pade n flesh
an yung Tam Lin wud B teh price.

Tey awayz mak teh sakrfyse
on teh nite of halloween
bu there wuz 1 thing i cud do
n so ma <3 i'd win.

he sed terd be 3 horsz
teh 1 hed ried wus perly wite
but there was aso choclit brown
and one as blak as nite.

n then theyd turn im in mi armz
n2  a snake, a wulf a ber
but still he wud hert me not
wil i still held him ther

glumy, glumy wuz teh nite
an ery wuz teh wind
as i in ma grn mantl
went 4 ma <3 2 win.

& i sa pass teh 1st 2 steedz
choclit brown n blak as nite
but i sun ran 2 cach up
nex 2 teh perly wite.

i wen 2 pull teh reidr down
an saw it was ma fair Tam Lin
n i 2k heed o all hiz wurdz
ma on deer <3 2 win.

teh fary queen wuz mad as hell
2 steel away hr nite
but i cas ma mantl ovr him
2 keep him out o site.

an ten she sa ma stomakz curve
& she went red with rage
then she stepd up clos 2 im
Tam Lin's own death 2 stage!

"if i'z had noan, Tam Lin," she sed,
"wut nao 2nite i C
i'z of put out bof ur Is
n turnd u fast n2 a tree."

she lukd me ovr n den sed
"O Tam Lin if iz' but noan
id of et ur haert o flesh
n left u wif a haert o stone!!!!!"

...n so ma <3 i won.